Everything is Different Now

Coincidentally, the title of this particular blog is the name designated for Stellar Kart’s new album.

Only it’s not coincidental, since I was thinking of the song that the record is titled after.

So, non-coincidentally, the title of this particular blog is the name designated for Stellar Kart’s new album.

All better. So what’s new? Football season is underway, and unfortunately my Titans are 0-1, having lost to Pittsburgh in the NFL Thursday Night Opener. Even though I previously posted about my guilt over rooting against my favorite team, I’m beyond that now.

Call me a jerk, call me a traitor, I don’t care. I want Vince Young back. And I’m not ashamed to say it! He showed me enough (and Bud Adams, owner of the Titans, whose opinion is WAY more important that mine in the decision-making process) during the preseason in his overall decision-making, not forcing anything (he did have a couple of blemishes early on but rebounded) and proving that his scrambling prowess makes him, once again, a difference-maker in any game. I think Kerry Collins played well, but he is clearly playing it safe to avoid mistakes, and an instance in the Pittsburgh game where late in the game he kept throwing it out of bounds seemed to be the proof. While Vince would have been risk-reward in those situations, I believe his legs would have kept the final drive alive long enough to possibly help the Titans score, or at least taken off enough time on the clock to avoid the final drive Pitt put up that needed a Hines Ward fumble to keep Tennessee alive.

Call me a VY fanboy, I don’t care. He brings excitement to the offense, and I believe if he plays safer and learns to make better decisions in coverage than he was 2 years ago, he has the potential to be an even better version of the David Garrard of two years ago that threw accurately and ran well and was widely heralded throughout the league. Much better, much better.

Moving on, another pretty cool thing happened…my daughter was born!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Do I have enough exclamations?)

Breah Lyn Pack was born August 29th at 10:52 a.m. What a surreal experience! I shared this story with everyone at church the next morning (yes, she was born on a Saturday and I led worship the next morning even though I was exhausted…because I love what God is doing at 22nd St!). In the moments after she was born, I had pictured myself being overflowing with joy and the super excited daddy I always wanted to be. And not that I didn’t have that, but one emotion simply overpowered the others:

Fear.

I was terrified, absolutely scared out of my mind. So scared that I secretly let everyone in the family hold her before I did. I don’t know exactly how to explain my fear, but I think the best way to describe it would be that for the first time in my life, I was completely cognizant that in front of me was a little girl whose entire world I was responsible for. All her successes, all her failures, would most likely be influenced by who I become as a father. I’m terrified.

Will I be the kind of dead-beat lazy father that millions of children go home to? Sure, I’m present, but not active? Am I the kind of dad that sends my kid off to a church where everyone sees me as a leader, and yet fail to pastor my own children?

And then there’s other thoughts, like will she make the same mistakes I’ve made? Will her relationship with Christ be tarnished by anything because I didn’t prepare her enough for this world? Will someone take advantage of her and mistreat her? This sounds stupid, but some of the words to Creed’s “With Arms Wide Open” make me think of how I feel about her:

“If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope [s]he’s not like me
I hope [s]he understands…“

There is something that is comforting. Another song that we were actually singing that very Sunday has been so true to me. It’s “Everlasting God” by Brenton Brown:

“You are the Everlasting God, the Everlasting God
You do not faint, You won’t grow weary“

While I might be terrified of raising Breah, God is not. He is not afraid to lead her, to lead me, to lead my family, to lead anyone I know through the unknown. He does not faint at the prospect of being a father to my child, nor does he grow faint at whatever daunting task faces her throughout her life. He is the all-powerful God, and nothing is too treacherous for Him. In fact, Romans 8 speaks about all the obstacles that His love transcends for us:

“ 35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.“

I need Jesus to lead me through the everyday portion of my life: not only the scary parts, but even the most mundane portions need to be given to Him. And what a comfort to know that He is not afraid of the challenge!

Taylor and Twizzle

Haven’t updated in awhile, so I thought I would post a new blog for a momentous occasion in my life.

No, my daughter hasn’t been born yet.

But…I am now in the exclusive club of Taylor guitar ownership! I traded “the farm,” so to speak, to get a 714ce – my Fender American telecaster, my Marshall JCM 900 head and Marshall 4×12 cab all went bye-bye. However, it was all well worth it, as I got a slightly used (dinged up a little on the front with a couple of chips near the pick guard), close to $3000 Taylor for $250 out of my own pocket.

Can you say sweeeeeeeeeeeeet? Here’s a pic:

In other news, I’ve been working on making another video for our church’s “Real Women of the Bible” series, and we’ll see if this one ends up making the cut for church this Sunday. However, while searching through classic TV shows, I became enamored with various clips I saw of the Dick Van Dyke show, especially when the show’s protagonist or Mary Tyler Moore (apparently her hardcore fans affectionately call her MTM?) dance. In fact, I think this one particular video of them participating in a new dance called “The Twizzle” is absolutely fascinating!

‘It’s like pedaling through hummus!’

Stagnancy.

Why is it so hard to break out of it? Why does it seem like life can become so mundane that all we think about is accomplishing the next task to get us through until the weekend? And then it’s off to the next task. Why do we waste precious time? I think one of the biggest tools of Satan is to get the Christian to focus on the busyness of life – to let it choke you down. When we get our eyes off of the cross is when we can become useless. I want to be dangerous, not boring. I want my life to count. I want the same job that I do every day to be filled with passion, because I know that I am not only preparing and arranging notation for a music experience this weekend, but I am also preparing spiritually for a WORSHIP experience this weekend. That can only happen when I am having my own worship experiences throughout the week. For me, that entails discipline. I have to commit myself to getting enough rest, going to bed on time instead of watching the coolest new shows (I just got cable after 2 long years without it! There are so many cool shows on Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, History Channel, and of course ESPN baby!) through the night, to be my best for the Lord – otherwise, I am tired, and I have the hardest time focusing on the Lord when I’m tired.

We’re getting ready for a summer of new songs. We started last week with “Make a Joyful Noise.” God has been teaching me strongly lately about my role as the one who chooses the music for our congregation. There are SO many good worship songs out there – what are the songs that resonate with where 22nd St. Baptist is at in our journey? While these new songs for the summer were chosen a little after God began teaching me this, I hope (and know) that God will use them powerfully, but I have to admit, I’m already looking forward to the next batch the band will learn. Lately worship has been incredibly powerful, and I hope it is meeting people head-on with where they are in their journeys. I don’t want to let myself fall into stagnancy and miss out on this opportunity – I want to pursue Christ with all of my heart and join in the song of my church…we’ll see where that takes us!

Must…Update…Blog…

Since I’m absolutely awful at updating blogs, and am more of a seasonal/cluster blogger, I’m just going to throw some new stuff on, hope it sticks like a piece of spaghetti tossed to the wall, and pray that it makes sense.

1)  Got a new job: Associate Pastor of Worship and Media at 22nd Street Baptist Church here in Tucson.  Wicked cool gig (been listening to that Nextel commercial with a Boston dude for too long).

2)  Broke a string on first worship song of said new job.  First impressions…

3)  Reliving hymns and great worship songs of the 90′s via our senior adult Wednesday morning hymns service and our Sunday early Traditional service.  Many of my young worship leading contemporaries would scoff at this, but actually it’s been a lot of fun traveling down memory lane!  “Oh, oh, oh…let it rise…” – you know you love it!

4)  Desperately wanting to go to a place called “Tucson Tamales,” heard it rocks.  And the owner is on Twitter.  This probably wasn’t important enough to blog, but it was what popped in my head.

5)  Really getting along with my new Lead Pastor.  He’s young, he likes sports, and he asked me to cover a Stained song without realizing it had three billion F-bombs.

6)  Said pastor lost some cool points when he took back the covering of Stained.  Rats.

7)  Really REALLY getting along with our Associate Pastor of Youth and Outreach/Missional, as he is a family friend that was also buds with my youth pastor growing up.

8)  Crown Jewel: Other Associate Pastor has my name…and spells it correctly like me too!  King me!

9)  Satan is going down in T-Town.  That was kind of cheesy, but I was getting really fired up.

10)  Just listened to Stryper’s “To Hell With the Devil.”  Back on track, let’s kick some butt for God.

11)  Got a new dog.  Adopted/rescued a 9 month old Australian Shepherd purebred named Smokey.  He is AWESOME.

Blokely Worship

Great video of Matt Redman discussing worship songs that a “bloke of blokes” would be comfortable with. It’s an interesting discussion, one that has honestly been running through my mind for awhile now. I’ll never forget a Sunday morning when I was singing the lyrics to the worship song “Who Is This?” – a song popularized by the Acquire the Fire conferences while I was in high school. Here are the lyrics:

“Who is this that appears like the dawn,
Fairer than the moon, brighter than the sun?
You’re the Lover of my soul.
Draw me into you, draw me into you.

CHORUS:
We will run, we will fly,
We will be together.
We will laugh, we will cry,
We will be together.

Who is this that beckons me to come close?
Beauty beyond words,
Surrounds me when you’re near.
You’re the Lover of my soul.
Draw me into you, draw me into you.

Who is this that wipes the tears from my eyes?
Just one glimpse of you steals my heart away.
You’re the Lover of my soul.
Draw me into you, draw me into you.”

I will forever remember that Sunday as the only time (and I’m just being honest) I thought this to myself in the middle of our church worship: “I must sound like a total CHICK right now!” Seriously, how would a “bloke of blokes” think about singing “You’re the lover of my soul” to a God that has defined Himself as our “Father” and came to earth in the form of the man Jesus Christ? It has completely changed my song selection on Sunday mornings – not that I’m leaving out any slower or emotional songs. But just like Redman describes, we need to remember the context in which we live. It’s so interesting that Redman discusses the ending to his song “Let My Words Be Few,” as he sings “Jesus I am so in love with you.” Now, I don’t mind it, and I’ll still probably sing that song. But I recall a very interesting conversation with the British cousin of one of my students when I was youth pastor at Sabino Road Baptist. She was visiting the States, but in England attended Soul Survivor Church where Matt Redman had formerly lead worship at, and we struck up a conversation about how wonderful Mr. Redman is. During this time she expressed frustration about the very same portion of “Let My Words” – her premise, however, was more on the worldly idea of “falling in love,” and how people fall in and out of love. She felt that, just as Redman suggested at the end of the video, perhaps a more fitting ending would be “Jesus I am so in awe of you.” Interesting. Like I said before, I will still use this song and probably some others that are less “manly,” but things like this make me wonder what the men within our church walls really think.

More Todd Agnew please!

Go Stillers???

Well, I seem to have been put in my place. I was in Vegas this weekend watching my beloved Wildcats football team beat BYU (not for lack of trying to blow it – we should have destroyed the Cougars, our passing offense was clearly better than their secondary, we just kept shooting ourselves in the foot). It was a really fun weekend, and it was an incredible experience feeling the redemption of ten years of frustration. I felt like the “monkey” had been lifted off of my back, which I never realized I carried until the emotion of the bowl game swept over me as the clock struck zero. I almost felt like shaking the hands of some of the players and thanking them for getting our program out of the shame it had been.

Back to the story. I was able to watch some of the early NFL games Sunday morning at Planet Hollywood. Cool place. However, as I stared at the huge screen displaying my favorite NFL team (Titans) playing the Steelers, I must admit that I actually was rooting against Tennessee. In fact, I was hoping the Steelers would score early and blow them out.

Why? I realized that I am a lot more biased than I realized. I am a Vince Young homer. It’s hard not to be. I think anyone who watched the instant class Rose Bowl between his Longhorns and the Trojans of USC would be. It’s not so much that I despise Kerry Collins, I just never really believed he was that great. I guess I still don’t, but boy did I look foolish on Sunday. Collins played excellent, and while some writers and fan(atic)s have written off Pittsburgh as overrated, I must admit that I was impressed. I still think Vince is just as capable, but I’m hoping he takes some pages out of Collins’ notebook.

By the end of the third quarter it became apparent that the Titans would win the game. At this time, I started feeling bad for actually having the nerve to root against my favorite team. I remember just a couple of years ago when they were just pitiful, and how a win against a quality opponent seemed futile. As the guilt overcame me, I got my act together and started cheering Collins on. It’s pathetic to have ill wishes toward your favorite team, isn’t it?

And yet we do it in ministry all the time. A few days ago God slapped me in the face with a friend of mine that I mentally “compete” with – I don’t think it’s wrong to watch and learn from how someone else does it and use it as a motivational tool to get better yourself, but I know myself and know how unhealthy I can get with making everything a competition. Especially with music. Part of it is jealousy, because I’m not as talented in some areas and I compensate by trying to point out the flaws of others. Overall it’s just pathetic. I’m just like I was on Sunday, rooting against my team, but this time instead of a loss to put in another quarterback, the implications are kingdom work. How irresponsible. God really hit me with this after I talked on the phone with this particular friend, and heard about his struggles as he attempts to lead his congregation in worship as a normal man with normal problems and the nuisance of sin that plagues us all. This is my brother in Christ, not somebody I’m “squaring off” against, and any success he has is leading people toward Christ! I wouldn’t just be rooting against the team I choose to follow and root for, I’d be rooting against the only team, my favorite of all favorites.  It’s time to lose the blinds and realize that we’re all in this together, and the glory needs only to go to God!

There Will Be A Day…

I’ve had this song stuck in my head for the last week – it’s been annoying because I had no clue who sang it. Then today I googled the crud out of the few lyrics I remembered and stumbled on the artist: Jeremy Camp!

It’s called “There Will Be a Day” and I’m posting the lyrics:

There will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place,
Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day,We’ll hold on to you always

It reminds me of a conversation with one of my students, who has been braving a strong fight of challenges for all of their life. I’m convinced that there will be a day where we who know the Lord will be sitting in heaven and chuckling at our earthly burdens that we carried – how at the time the achings we carried felt like ages, and how minuscule those years of burden were compared to eternity. Maybe hearkening back to the very first day we were able to see Jesus face to face, seeing the friends who fought the “good fight” with us all those years in the kingdom, and, for me personally, seeing my forefathers who carried their crosses daily that I knew only by some of the stories left behind of their character and integrity.

I know, I know, I’m getting into all that mushy gushy stuff, but the point remains: there will be a day! Psalm 1 verse 5 says, “Therefore the wicked shall not stand in the judgment, nor wrongdoers in the congregation of the righteous.” The word “stand” in this verse in the Hebrew can be translated as “arise,” meaning that the wicked will literally not even be able to rise up in the judgment. I think of it like when a Glorious King (think Lord of the Rings times a thousand) returns, when those who serve Him will stand proudly in His presence, while His enemies are trembling, not able to even stand up. Another thought that this imagery can symbolize the King putting his foot on the throat of the conquered enemies, leaving them unable to arise from their uncomfortable position.

When we come to see Jesus, it will definitely be a scary thought for some. They will not even be able to gather themselves in the presence of the King. But for those who have called upon the name of the Lord, it will be a day of great celebration!

Back Again?

Well, now that it’s painfully clear that Kerry Collins, while efficient, is not much of an upgrade over Vince Young, it seems the Titans’ owner, Bud Adams, has now publicly stated that the organization hasn’t given up on Young yet. Thank goodness. After reading all the commentaries on The Tennessean and Nashville City Paper by people who think they are so-called “experts” on the game, I was beginning to lose all hope of sanity. Granted, I’m not at the games nor do I have the NFL Gameday Package that would allow me to watch the game, but statistics don’t lie: Kerry Collins in average. If it were Young putting up those kinds of numbers he’d be run out of town. Seriously, how many gamecasts do I need to watch that show Collins throwing a pick early in the game? I’m still holding out hope that Young can be a more exciting version of David Garrard, at least the season Garrard had last year. Don’t make too many mistakes throwing, don’t try to make a lot of risky throws and kill the other team’s defense with long drives.

One thing I have noticed, however, is that there seems to be a lot of media members that are quite content on bashing Young. I understand he screwed up, but c’mon, they’re making him out to be like the second coming of Terrell Owens! I’ve definitely noticed this with some of staff of The Tennessean and while I really enjoy Paul Kuharsky’s AFC South Blog on ESPN.com, some of his comments are tainted with an anti-Young flair. We’ll see how all this plays out.

Plax & The Loudmouth Gang

Ladies and Gentlemen: Plaxico Burress has shot himself in the leg.

Idiot.

He has already gotten in enough trouble lately, with a report coming out that he’s supposedly been fined 40-50 times by the Giants organization, missing lots of team meetings, and mouthing off quite a bit. Of course I personally loved it when he mouthed off about the Patriots before the Super Bowl, but still…

Jason Whitlock has an interesting article on Foxsports.com titled “There’s a reason receivers are mental.” Even though I oftentimes disagree with his commentary, I think he hit the nail on the head. He even makes an interesting point in how two sure-fire Hall of Famers that are playing today, Terrell Owens and Randy Moss, somehow don’t have title rings. It’s because wide receivers, while important, aren’t as important as several other positions.

Which is why I love my Titans. They are built on THE most important positions in the game: offensive and defensive lines. The blue-collar positions are what brings winners, ask last year’s New England Patriots team. I know, I know, the Patriots were one miraculous Eli Manning to David Tyree pass from solidifying the dynasty, but it’s still fun to rub in.

Anyway, of course this makes me think of ministry. I don’t know if there are certain “positions” in ministry that I can say is like diva wide receivers, but there are certainly a lot of people I’ve run across that seem to act a lot like the diva wide receivers. They may talk a lot about their own agendas and themselves, but isn’t much nicer when someone just shuts up and serves? Why is it that supposedly 90% of a group of people who show up to church on Sunday are busy talking and singing about all kinds of fancy things for God, but it seems that only 10% of the people are actually willing to step up for the Kingdom?

But how does this change? Again, I think being a pastor in a lot of ways relates to coaching. Coaches have the ability to allow the divas to gain control of the team, not doing anything about it and even thinking it’s great to have. But, as my favorite radio host Colin Cowherd points out, it’s the tough coaches that consistently preach bringing your “lunch pail” to work, that don’t accentuate the flashiness but instead focus on the play of real “engines” of the team – those are the successful guys. Guys like Jeff Fisher, Bill “The Jaw” Cowher, and even Tom Coughlin. Maybe it’s not about being the most eloquent person, but being the one who is most willing to serve and work the trenches.

Interesting, I thought somebody named Jesus said something like <a href=”http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%209:35&version=49″that.

New Fly Rod

Super excited as my in-laws gave me Danielle’s grandfather’s old fly rod. I’ve been wanting one BAD, as my good friend Marcos has one that is loads of fun for bass fishing. Now all I have to do is buy new line, and I’m set!

This isn’t my rod, but I thought I’d grab a picture off of google just to show my excitement!